I have always loved Thanksgiving for many reasons, but one reason is because it signals the beginning of the Christmas season. As lovers of all things Christmas, my family has always put up our Christmas tree right after Thanksgiving. However, one year when I was around 10 years old my Mom and Grandma decided to get a jump-start on putting the tree up when us kids weren’t around. Although this may seem inconsequential, the minute I walked into the living room I was overwhelmed with a plethora of emotions. 

I immediately started crying intensely and speaking incoherently. What caused such commotion you may ask: simply change. You see, up to this point we had always put the Christmas tree in the same spot every year, but this particular year my Mom decided to change everything up. She moved our living room furniture all around and put our Christmas tree in a new spot. This was such a small thing but at the time this change was the cause of so much chaos within me.

Now I just laugh at my 10-year-old self. In the end, I loved the new spot for our Christmas tree and it could have honestly been better than our original spot. However, in that moment I had no perspective. I allowed, “how it’s always been” to be the measure of what is good and what is not. I had no idea that what was ahead could be even better than what I was holding on to. 

Although this is just a silly story, I have found that even now I can all too easily fall into the same trap.

I have experienced firsthand how difficult it is to let go and move forward, often times only knowing the destination but not all of the changes and trials that will happen on the journey.

For me, change has been a constant recently as I have made the permanent move to Arizona and started a new job. These are big changes for me personally, but I know we are all struggling with change whether that is a new job, a change with school, a new relationship or absence thereof, or even the changes that have come with the upheaval that is going on in our world right now. 

Because of these changes, more and more I have been asking myself: why do I feel this way so frequently? Why does even the smallest change often leave me spiraling in anxiety and stress?

I only began to understand why I often feel this way after talking to my Dad and what I came to realize really surprised and humbled me. 

Here is what I have come to realize, although I have a personal relationship with God, I can find my attention and time drifting away from God and to other things. Honestly, for me this often happens when I give work and other people my focus over my relationship with God. 

When I lose sight of God I begin to forget His goodness, His love, His sovereignty. As a result, when change comes I get caught in the storm of anxiety and stress that endlessly tosses me from one direction to another bringing up old wounds. I forget all the things that God has brought me through before and failed to trust that He will do it again!

So each morning I have been striving to wake up and spend my personal time with God a little differently than before; I start my day in the Bible reminding myself of God’s character and the truth that He is trustworthy. I can trust that whatever change or trial I will face I will be able to make it through because He is with me. He is the one in control and He loves me more than I can imagine. 

So, when we go through small or big changes at home, work, or in our personal life, we must remember that God loves us more than anything and that He wants the best for us. It is imperative that we understand that God has unlimited power and He is completely in control. He is never up in Heaven wringing His hands and hoping things work out ok. 

Hear me out, this doesn’t mean we won’t go through change and hardship. We will experience these things but God promises that we will not go through them alone and it will never be fruitless. Every change and hardship God will work for good. 

Also, despite what we may want, when we trust God anxiety and fear don’t just magically disappear. However once you have a relationship with God, where you know His character and you trust Him completely, you will know who to go to when you are lost and paralyzed in the face of change. God can give you peace that you will make it through to the other side.

God ultimately is the only true source of peace, and in a time where change is so prevalent in my own personal life and in the whole world; more than ever, I know I need the One who calms the storm, brings healing to those in need, and justice to those forgotten. Don’t you want that too?

If so, ask God to reach in and save you from the storm within, from all of your fears and failures. Then take the time to really know and connect with God on a personal level, to a level where you have confidence that you can face whatever lies ahead because God is near. 

Whatever steps you need to take, let today be a new beginning!

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’S great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:21-23

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

Storm Within
 
Lost in the sea of endless thunder
as flashes of words take me under
memories pour and wet my face
fighting the elements in this place.
 
Stuck in the storm of restless stressors
can’t escape this heightened pressure
thrown and tossed up in the air
riding the emotions stripped and bare.
 
Driving hard against the wind
not accepting how it’s always been
finally allowing help to reach in
and save me from the storm within.

-Written August 9, 2020 by Chérie Wilson

(Scroll on poem to reveal full lines!)

-Photo by Gabi Lebron

For a large majority of my life, I struggled with finding the answer to this question: how does God speak to me. I read books, asked other Christians, and searched God’s Word, but I was no closer to understanding how God personally spoke to me. Like all Christians, God spoke to me through his Word and through others, but I felt the need for something even more intimate – more personal. At times, I felt close to the answer but had no way of putting it into words. 

On April 16, 2016 I finally got my answer.  At this point in my life, I was a sophomore in college and living the American dream. I was a division one athlete at a top-notch school with an amazing GPA, lots of friends, and progress towards a degree in exercise science so I could eventually become a physical therapist. The problem was that I had put God on the back burner and the negative consequences were seeping into every area of my life. 

You see, even before I entered college, I felt God putting on my heart the calling of full time ministry, partially involving missions overseas. However, I doubted this could be the path God had for me. So, I ignored this and continued on the path that I thought was best for my life.  For nearly two years, I traveled down my own path. Anytime I felt an urge to turn back and begin on the path God had for me, I immediately was stricken with fear. Thus, I shoved His calling down deep where I hoped I would no longer feel it.  

However, on April 16, 2016 everything changed. So much happened in my life personally and I felt wrecked; but just as God was with Jonah in the belly of the big fish, God was with me. He did not leave me in my distress and disobedience. 

I will never forget that day; it started like any other day, but as it progressed my thoughts shifted to my life. I felt alone. My twin sister, Chantal, was dating a guy which made me feel like she was pulling away from me. I was also injured which meant for the first time I couldn’t run with my college teammates. When I really thought about it, I didn’t even know who I was without running and Chantal. Then, my thoughts turned to the “bargain” that I made with God not long before. I was lonely so I had decided that if God would send me a godly man that also had the call of full time ministry, then I would follow His call.   

To be honest, I was living in fear. I was afraid of what my life would look like if I didn’t have running, Chantal, or the security of a husband. Later that day, I went on a walk with a guy, who was the first to ever be interested in dating me. I was initially ecstatic of all the possibilities. As we talked and walked, he seemed like a great Christian guy but he was not called to ministry. In an instant, I was struck with guilt and grief; I knew what I had to do. I immediately went home and remembered what it says in Jonah 2:2 “ In my distress I called to the LORD, and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help, and you listened to my cry.” From a place of complete sincerity and vulnerability, I called out to the Lord; and in that moment, I knew I couldn’t take even one more step away from the path that God had for me. So I knelt, prayed, and wept for hours. I was afraid of the calling that God was putting on my heart; but I knew that no matter what God told me to do, I would follow Him to the ends of the Earth if he asked and I would go even if it meant leaving Chantal and being alone. I would not wait on anything or anyone; I was willing to leave it all to follow God’s call for my life. 

So I surrendered and dedicated my life to full time ministry. I wish I could adequately describe the peace and comfort I experienced in that moment but the words escape me. What I can tell you is that it surpassed anything I have ever experienced. From that moment, I have been passionately and faithfully running towards God’s calling for my life.   

After making this decision, I sat down in reflection. Amidst the quietness I heard God’s whisper and in an instance I knew I had found my answer: God speaks to me through a whisper. While he certainly speaks to me through his word and through wise counsel of other Christians, he also speaks to me in the stillness through the whisper of His Holy Spirit. I wrote this poem so I would never forget how God has spoken and will continue to speak to me: through a whisper. My hope is that this poem is a reminder or a starting point for the greater plan that God has for your life as it has been for me.

“The Whisper”
 
The endless searching
It cannot be seen or perceived
The whisper 
It seems to be calling to me
The path I take
 Is not where I should go
The journey to where I don’t know
 
The Whisper
Never departing from me
The distractions
To shift my attention from Thee
The trials 
For which I must face
 The decision
That I contemplate
 
The Whisper
That is still here with me
The plea
For where I should be
The cry to the Lord I call
With Grace 
He has forgiven all
 
The path 
That the Lord has for me
Is greater 
Than I could ever see
 I believe
That He will never leave 
The whisper 
Is always there guiding me
 
-Written April 17, 2016