In Alice in Wonderland, the caterpillar conspicuously and repeatedly asks Alice one question. “Who are you?” 

If you would have asked me this question when I entered college, with much pride I would have immediately told you that I was a cross-country runner. I started my running career in middle school, continued into high school, and then went on to run as a division one athlete in college. 

I absolutely love running; I have always found so much freedom in it. However, for a time in my life running represented the opposite of freedom in many ways. It completely consumed my life. 

 With the hopes of being counted among the best runners, I used to run at least once every day if not more. Really much of what I did on a day-to-day basis was in the hope of advancing my running. It was pretty easy to see my devotion to cross-country. While this type of dedication to the sport is necessary to become a great runner and that is not necessarily a bad thing, the problem is that for me running became more than just what I did; it became who I was. 

Unfortunately over time, I allowed my identity to quickly became tied to who I was as a runner. Consequently I found my worth in my performance as a runner. So, when I ran well I felt secure and loved but when I didn’t I felt worthless and angry. 

The problem was I had found my identity in something other than God. I had made running my idol and my performance the basis of my worth. 

I know for you it might not be running but when you think about this question “who am I?” Is your first reaction to respond that you are a child of God or have you put something before Him? Have you made that thing your identity? 

God tells us in Exodus 20:3-5

“You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them…” 

Although we may not make and worship golden idols, we do often put things before God and find our worth in our abilities and successes. For me that was running. I allowed running to become more important in my life than my relationship with God, and the evidence was in the hours of running every week and my lack of time spent with my Heavenly Father. 

As time passed and as I continued on this destructive path, my image of myself became distorted because I had allowed my self worth to be defined and determined by my running and not by my identity in Christ. As a result, I felt helpless to the inevitability of running poorly. I was living in fear. 

However, that all changed when I surrendered and gave God my running. I laid my running shoes at the cross and started faithfully running with Jesus. When I did this, I felt like I could fly; I was finally free. I started to not just see but also believe what God says about my worth. Jesus tells us that in Christ we are a new creation and we are loved for who we are in Him. 

Let’s not get confused here. We are not loved for what we do. I was not loved more when I ran faster. God does not love you more when you perform to expectations or when you succeed.  You are loved for who you are in Christ. Period. No exceptions.

It is written in Ephesians 2:8

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast.” 

We can do nothing to earn our salvation. We do not deserve it but we are given this gift of salvation freely. All we must do is accept it and ask God to forgive us. 

Ever since giving God my running ability, spending time with God, as well as learning through reading the Bible, I have come to truly see my worth. I am learning that the best version of myself comes when I am defined by the One who knows me the most, loves me the most, and has the authority to tell me who I am. The same is true of you.

So please look at your life, be honest with yourself, and answer the question, have I been putting something above my relationship with God? Have I allowed something or someone other than God determine my worth? If so you are not alone, however, you need to surrender that thing. Then you need to listen. Listen for the words God wants to speak into your life:

I chose you.

I forgive you.

I value you.

I believe in you.

I love you.